I just did. I sent Christmas cards today, by email, as it has become a custom for me, since my handwriting is so bad these days, I wouldn't wish it on anybody to try and decipher. I got some sweet wishes back, and than I got an email I had been looking forward to getting, until I actually opened it.
To say that the floor dropped out from under my seat, would not quite be accurate. It was bizar, to say the least. Let me give you the abbreviated version.... It was implied that I was using having cancer as an excuse for not keeping in touch. (THAT was definitely a first!), I didn't care enough to get a paper card and mail the darn thing, and with all things I supposedly don't have time for..... I DO have time to maintain my blog! Life wasn't all fun at their end either, but they didn't complain to everybody in emails about it, and the only reason I EVER emailed in the first place, was probably because I felt guilty about not keeping in touch!
I couldn't believe what I was reading. I haven't kept up, personally, with A LOT of people...... No reason other than that life has a way of getting in the way. Nothing personal, no ill will intended. Shit just happens. I haven't seen my dad more than 4 times since we got back. Nicky a little more, but it's still a whole lot less than what I think to be normal.
Does it mean I don't care, or that they don't? No, it means everybody has a life.
Does it hurt that we don't stay in touch as much as we should? YES!
Am I worried I may run out of time to catch up with them? YES!
If I had more time/opportunity/energy/brainpower etc would I be more "on the ball" and around people? YES!
I hoped that by writing the blog, everybody could keep up with what was going on, but apparently I need to revise that thought. So, to everybody I have neglected over the last 3 years during my struggle to get my life back.... while maintaining my sanity (more or less)
I AM SORRY THAT I DIDN'T KEEP IN TOUCH!!!!
I LOVE YOU ANYWAY, WHETHER I TOLD YOU LATELY OR NOT
I WOULD LOVE TO PROMISE I WILL DO BETTER NEXT YEAR, BUT I WON'T, BECAUSE IF LIFE HITS THE FAN AGAIN, I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO KEEP THAT PROMISE.
I AM SIGNING OFF UNTIL AFTER NEW YEAR.
Merry Christmas and a Blessed 2013!
Don't forget to hug that loved one!
Hugs,
Pauli
I can´t tell you how very sorry I am that you had such an appalling experience. I don´t think you owe anyone an apology. All I can say is that with a friend like that you don´t need enemies. I for one was pleased to receive your lovely card and I wish you a very merry Christmas and a happy and healthy new year.
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