We're somewhere between

and

and sometimes I think it's just more humane if somebody would just take us out and get it over with...

As you can tell, I'm not having a good time right now. The Tuesday after inventory, everybody got called in a meeting, and it was announced that within 18 months, they have to be down to 9 jobs. One job is considered somebody that works 20 hours, meaning you take the 40 hour people as 2 parts (being management), and you guessed it... that leaves actually 3 people out of 18 with a job.

Top that with.... "We don't know if the lay-offs start next Monday or June of next year" and "performance will not be taken in account" and you really know you're screwed!

I'm so messed up right now, I'm crying half the time, and pissed-off he other half. I didn't want to come back here, but I'm finally settling in and figuring out how things are done, and building some kind of normalcy in a place that feels more alien to me than The States did when I first got there but I have my family within reach and a little bit of my passion back, and I'm working on getting my business going, so we have options..... but obviously that was way too much fun and something needed to be adjusted...... We don't know if he's losing his job, we don't know when we'll know whether he has a job or not, unless you figure that if we haven't heard by September of next year, we're good......  I'm scared to death that Mike will have another heart attack with the stress that it's putting on him.  He's convinced that losing his job in Iowa had a big part in his heart-attack, so even thinking that puts him at risk for another one....And I'm not even considering what the thought of his feeling this way does to me, aside from the uncertainty and no safety-net what so ever. We don't have another income, or a pension to fall back on. This job is not so we can shop on base, and no big deal if it goes away. We're completely, utterly and royally screwed without his job, because we'll have 3 months to leave the country, and no place to go, or money to get there if we did.... So to spare you my rantings, ravings, doubts and outburst,  but also because I'll be busy going crazy.... I'll probably won't be around much for a while.  Wish us luck, and if you have an opportunity, if you could send some good thoughts our way, it's appreciated....

Don't forget to hug a loved one? And remember.... hug them twice if they're fuzzy :-)

Love and hugs,

Pauli