Last week Monday, I got a visit from an independent counselor to decide if my business was viable, and I have what it takes to make it work. He started off pissy, and didn't improve during the inquisition. He was here for 3 hours, and nothing I had done, or was planning on was right, so somehow I didn't expect it to go my way, but because to make it out of the financial help plan, I only need to make 500€ per month, I was hoping it was not going to be a big deal. Well, I was wrong. According to him, I have no business being IN business, my office space is laughable, and anything but professional, he hasn't seen anything that gives any indication that I'm the least bit creative, let alone creative enough to be paid for it and I'm not even close to being even a mediocre business owner. I don't think I could have felt any smaller by the time he was done talking, and can't wait till I get that in writing! (His attitude when he visited was so obvious that 3 different neighbors who knew he was coming asked me about it, so I know it wasn't just me.....)
I tried to tell him... All I need to make my business work, is a place where I can sit, do my thing and be alone.... I can do that. I don't expect, or even want people in my house. And as for not being a business owner, I indicated I needed help in the "doing business" part. I know I don't have the experience. But he wouldn't listen. I'll have to wait for the official send off, but I'm busy replanning. With everything that hangs in the balance, I'm nowhere near ready to give up. My own business will be the only thing that I've found sofar, that will allow us a little more security and stress relief.
The thing that urks me about this whole thing, is that they rather pay me the rest of my life, than give me a chance to get out from under. I don't need to earn 60K a year. I just need to earn enough to keep us here, if anything happens to Mikes job, and a little extra so we can take a couple of days vacation per year, and not have to look seventeen times at every penny we spend.
While I was writing this, this morning, I got a call from Mike. He has blown out his shoulder while unloading a truck at work, and if I could come and get him........ It never stops. We have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow morning. I initially made the appointment, because after he got to work, Mike called that his right eye was so cloudy, it was like looking thru a dirty window in heavy rain, and he would like a referral to a specialist. The doc wanted to see him before he wrote the referral........ So now, tomorrow will be a "two-fer"....... I don't know how to do this anymore, and I'm taking the rest of the week off ......... If the saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" holds true, I should be as strong as Ayrs Rock by now :-)
For now, take care, don't forget to hug a loved one, and please count your blessings.....
Hugs,
Pauli
While I was writing this, this morning, I got a call from Mike. He has blown out his shoulder while unloading a truck at work, and if I could come and get him........ It never stops. We have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow morning. I initially made the appointment, because after he got to work, Mike called that his right eye was so cloudy, it was like looking thru a dirty window in heavy rain, and he would like a referral to a specialist. The doc wanted to see him before he wrote the referral........ So now, tomorrow will be a "two-fer"....... I don't know how to do this anymore, and I'm taking the rest of the week off ......... If the saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" holds true, I should be as strong as Ayrs Rock by now :-)
For now, take care, don't forget to hug a loved one, and please count your blessings.....
Hugs,
Pauli
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